I Can't Imagine

I think I've described the city I live in several times in my blog and the reason I mention it is because I must admit that as much as I gripe and grumble about it I have to admit I think Massachusetts,New Bedford,and the surrounding areas are a HUGE part of who I am.  If I haven't given you all an accurate picture permit me to explain a bit about the city I call home. 

First, New Bedford is roughly 35 minutes outside Boston and at one time it was a huge fishing,and factory,area.  The city,itself,is sort of broke now but it's still an incredible place.  To some people it's big but after living in the city for roughly 30 years I have to tell you to me it's not.  I have a theory that,in this city,you are seperated by 2 or 3 people.  However, in my case, I feel it is ACTUALLY less then that. 

So, where am I going with this?  Well, it's simple.  If you subscribe to my theory then you can understand that I believe that we are seperated by less then 2 or 3 people.  You are actually seperated from one person by another person and that's it.  So,that being said since I feel the city is soooo small when something happens you know it and not only do you know it but you know the people involved. 

Yesterday I was scanning the web and I came across a piece of news that left me speechless.  Years ago my brother played little league baseball.  On the team was a boy named,Ryan,and his dad,Mr. M.,coached.  The M family knew pain.  Their eldest child passed away when she was 5 from a rare blood disease.  A few seasons in Mrs. M. announced she was expecting a son.  Andrew was born just before the beginning of the season when the boys moved up,Ryan went to one team and Den to the other.  They were rivals but always maintained a friendship.  I get the feeling,deep down,both boys respected each other because they both were utility players who could pitch,catch,and play several positions. 

Over the years, Den left baseball but Ryan kept plugging away.  I rarely saw the M family over the years until one day,when I was in high school,and volunteering at a rehabilitation center for children and I ran into Andrew.  Actually,that center changed my life.  A lot of girls,from the shop I was in,would not volunteer to go.  I think it was difficult for them because their were children with severe mental,and physical,handicaps in that building.  Some were confined to wheelchairs,some were missing limbs,and some were suffering from mental delays. 

In Andrew's case it was just a simple matter of him not talking.  I remember settling on the floor,next to him,and we would have play time and a speech session.  He started talking and I remember one day I heard the teacher in the room,Ms. Laurie,come in and say,"It's big, Mr. M."  and she was right.  Mr. M is built like a tank.  Anyway, yesterday I was on the web and I saw a headline,"GNB Voke student dies in car crash." 

Come to find out it was Andrew!  The kid was 17 years old,he was the captin of the school football and baseball team,and had plans to go to college.  He wanted to be a teacher!  Anyway, I have to admit that seeing that this good family lost such an amazing child has DEFINITELY made me feel that my problems are pretty insignificant. 

Anyway,my heart goes out to this family.  I know that Andrew is up there with his big sister,Jennifer.  Rest in peace,Andrew!

Okay,so as much as I'd like to not focus on the job thing and various other things that are going on let me first go on a rant and then I'll share some good news. 

First, let me explain something.  I guess the thing that's been bugging me about my life lately is I feel like i'm just here for everyone else.    That just hit me recently.  I was sitting at the computer,applying for a job,and suddenly I recieved a message on FB.  Someone was asking me for something and I was super busy so I just sent back a message saying,"I'll get it for you when I can."  Apparently,I'll get it for you when I can was not fast enough because a few days ago someone called me and said,"So and so asked me for this and I figured I'd ask you."

So and so was the exact same person who asked me for it!  Ummmm....what part of I WILL GET IT FOR YOU WHEN I CAN DO YOU NOT GET?!   

I am so fed up with everyone around me feeling like the world revolves around them!  I am not here to make your life easier and I am pissed off that when I say something,to someone,about WAITING they can't seem to get it through their heads.  HOW ABOUT NEXT TIME I JUST SAY,"NO!" and leave it at that? 

Okay,so that's not it  either.    I'm annoyed.  It's not just one person but a bunch of people who,possibly through no fault of their own,are straight up pissing me off. 

This morning I posted my condolences to the family I mentioned above on FB and a friend of mine,who I went to school with,asked what happened.  Now let me just say this is the type of "friend" who is constant drama.  Boyfriends,kids,and drama.   She is the type of person who is almost solely focused upon her own problems.  So why was I surprised when she put,"Oh,what happened?"  Ummmm....we live in a relatively small place,this story has been all over the news,and in the papers. 

HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THE F'N HELL HAPPENED? 

Why?  Well, simple.  She's entirely focused on herself and her issues. 

Seriously,the list of people who are pissing me off is getting longer every friggen day! 

Speaking of a solo focus my sister is holding Collin's birthday party on Sunday.  She hadn't heard from anyone so she assumed no one was coming.  Ummm...surprise.  She invited 40 people and 40 people are coming.   I cannot imagine what she was thinking.  Tiff and FBIL have a small apartment and she invited 40 people.  Oh,and what are 40 people thinking about coming to this tiny house. 

Actually,let me correct that.  I do.  The thoughts here are two fold,and no I'm not saying that my family won't celebrate and wish Collin well,but I do believe there are some alterior motives.  First, I believe some of them want to see Jaedyn.  I think they think that Den and Blondie are going to bring him and therefore it's a good chance to hold the baby.  Oh,and if you're wondering,I actually encouraged my sister in law not to come.  Why?  Well,first there's a straight up LOVELY virus going around,they don't need it and Jaedyn doesn't either.  Secondly, I don't feel that being passed from arm to arm to arm would be good for Jaedyn. 

Maybe I'm wrong.  I'm not his parents but if I were the mother of an infant I would NOT bring them to a party like that. 

The second reason.  I've mentioned it before and I'll say it again.  FOOD!  No disrespect intended but honestly, that is the primary reason a lot of people show up at parties and I believe that that's the reason a lot of my relatives are going.  There's nothing wrong with it but I guess what I'm saying is it's not solely because of Collin and that sucks! 

Anyway,last night my sister wound up on that list of folks who are pissing me the Hell off.  I texted my sister in law and asked about the party.  She said she'd talk to Den.  Fine.  Later on I went out with my mom and my sister called.  "Are they coming?"  she asked.  I told her,"I don't know.  If I were them I'd be anxious about EVERYONE wanting to hold the baby."   I THOUGHT MY SISTER WOULD GET THAT!  Instead she got pissed off!  "Well,if they want him to get immune to germs he's got to be around people."  she said. 

Yeah,but not 40 people in one SHOT!  NO!  NO!

So, speaking of my so adorable nephew I'm supposed to go see him today!  I'm super jazzed because I haven't had that privledge yet.  Hopefully,my mom gets back soon so we can get going.

Off to apply for more jobs.  Talk to you all later.